fast forward button please?

I'm tired. I mean like... fantasizing about down comforters, debating a catnap under my lab bench, exhausted. I feel like I've spent the past week flying across the country, preparing to completely uproot and upturn my life. Oh yeah, I have.  It might sound like I'm complaining (and alright, I'll admit that if I had anyone on my bench, I might have called in a sub by now) but really, I can't pretend like I'm not beyond excited that in a matter of days I will be living in my brand new studio apartment in the lovely city of...

All I'm saying that is that I wish I could have fast-forwarded a little bit of the process of turning this:

into this:

And that I could have skipped right over all of this:

You know, the whole "fit your bedroom into 7 cardboard boxes" thing.  There's a reason that game hasn't come out on the Xbox yet... it sucks.

It's  been a long week of flying, hotel-ing, apartment hunting, packing, "moving checklist" cross-ing off-ing.  I could write a novel about the whole ordeal if I wanted (or at least a pop-up picture book).  But I'm not, because I have a date tonight.  In an ideal world, it'd look something like this:

But this is not an ideal world, so tonight I have a little date with:

followed by a private showing of the back of my eyelids.

Which is no Derrick by any means, but as far as dates go, it's about as much as I want right now: requires no putting on of the pants or bra, no fighting over the bill, and I'm sure ol' Jodi will call in the morning.