Monday, September 16, 2013

Hey Vladimir, watch who you're calling unexceptional.

In case you missed it, the president of Russia had a few words to say about Syria, international law, and Obama's idea that America is exceptional (hint: Vladimir not amused).

This situation is big.  Like, future high school history test material big.  It's not surprising, then, that half of the social media community (the half not tweeting their faces off about Miley Cyrus) is going nuts, throwing around their political insights in 140 characters or less.

But I have a strict no governmental debate policy around here so you know what I have to say?

Vladimir, watch who you're calling unexceptional.  Or at least until you've visited my corner of Chicago... because I'm seeing exceptional every day.

I mean, really Vlad, when's the last time you ordered mochi ice cream and ginger tea off a Japanese/Brazilian/Peruvian fusion restaurant menu?  Because I did Friday night at Sushia Samba.
Ever wonder what would happen if a Peruvian went to Brazil to open a sushi joint?

Well besides potentially becoming the intro to a corny bar joke alternative, it would look a lot like this:
Six months of fried egg sandwiches and microwave-in-the-bag Brussels sprouts assures you that I'm no foodie.  But I can sure act like one.  And since Rae started working downtown, I think we've made an unspoken agreement to try every reasonably priced restaurant in Chicago with a bar.

And I mean really, Vladimir, I know that you're the president of Russia and all, but are you really going to challenge Food Network star Guy Fieri?  Aka this guy:


As Derrick and I were surfing the seven channels I get in my standard cable package, we landed on an episode of Diners, Drive-in's, and Dives.  And while I wouldn't have known Guy from the UPS man at work (I don't watch a lot of TV), I recognized the bar he was visiting, DMK Burger Bar... because I had run by it 3 hours earlier.  So guess where we went this weekend.


Guy sure seems to think that Chicagoan food is exceptional.  And it turns out, he's right.



I copied Guy and ordered the #5...


... and a Bloody Mary (surprise).  I'm just saying, obviously Vladimir hadn't tried Blueberry BBQ sauce before he dissed our exceptional-ism.  

But even if Vladimir isn't impressed with our outrageous nationality mash-ups or he's more of a kale salad with vinaigrette kind of guy, I know that he'll never be able to match the graphics designers we have here. Specifically, the hardcore, football playing women graphics designers like Julie, the mastermind behind our firm's team tees for Race Judicata last Thursday.


And if that doesn't impress Vlad, I dare him to say that it isn't exceptional that among the 3,000 or so sophisticated, educated legal women in Chicago who ran the race, this goon in the over-sized shirt and hairdo circa kindergarten class of '95 won.


Guess you can't judge a book by its cover though, huh?  Or by its juvenile hairdo.

But what it comes down to, ol' Vladdy boy, is that no one, not even you, can spend a sunny fall afternoon sitting outside the Bourgeois Pig Cafe, drinking an iced chai tea latte...


... looking over it at this...


... and not think that life here is exceptional.  Because then you'd just be being stubborn.

The situation in Syria (and beyond) is no joke, but I'm banking on the fact that Not Before my Tea isn't high on Vladimir Putin's reading list.  I know that I'm making light of a situation that isn't light at all.  But the world can be a scary place on its own, especially during times like these, so it doesn't need help from this little blogger.

I'm just here for the jokes.

Cheers to you all having an exceptional week!





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