Monday, December 23, 2013

Blog Reader Appreciation Series: Part 10

As I write this from the middle seat of row 4 on a flight that left 40 minutes late, I’m thinking that I need a better way of dealing with stress.

Because sighing loudly didn't make the flight attendants get through their oxygen mask spiel any faster.  And I don't think that all the muttering in the world would have kept Justin, the feisty seven year old across from me, from poking his sister.

Repeatedly.  To her extreme annoyance, which she didn't attempt to hide.

But I'm not the only one on this highway of holiday travel hell.  So this one is for all of you out there, the ones feeling a bit more sympathetic toward the Grinch as you fight outrageous security lines and bumper to bumper traffic.

I salute you.


With two days until Christmas, we're all feeling the stress.  So grab a cup of tea and maybe a shot of Bailey's (do people do that?) and stay a while... because no matter how you handle your holiday woes,  I've got something here for you.


Good for you.  Let's see if you can wrap your head around these "out of the box" answers.

39 Test Answers That Are 100% Wrong But Totally Genius At The Same Time

Just stop... because I've got them all right here.

32 People Who Absolutely Nailed It In 2013

In your defense, stress doesn't stand a chance against these lovelies.


#1. Christmas Crack via I Heart Nap Time
#2. White Chocolate Peppermint Fudge (Raw & Vegan) via The Detoxinista
#3. Chocolate Caramel and Pecan Turtle Clusters via Red Sky Food

I'm not a crier.  Derrick's been convinced of my stone heart ever since I finished My Sister's Keeper and (even more inexplicably) Marley and Me with completely dry eyes.

But this one literally had me crying before work one morning.  Just a warning.

This Lip Dub Of Katy Perry’s “Roar” Shot At A Children’s Hospital Is Too Beautiful To Deal With


I'm not judging, unless it's another "I Support Phil" Freedom of Speech tirade.  Then I am.

Let Me Explain Freedom of Speech to all the Phil Robertson, Duck Dynasty Supporters

And if you don't, maybe you should.

A Must-Watch For Anyone Frustrated With Growing Up


These Are The 31 Worst Puns Ever But You Can't Stop Laughing!

That's what I do, anyway.  Then again, that's how I handle every emotion.

And apparently everyone knows it.  The first thing Laura said to me when we met at Miss Shirley's on Sunday to celebrate Erika's engagement was: "So are you going to review this on your blog?"

I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.  Regardless, I don't want to let anyone down or leave anyone miserably heartbroken (unlike the Ravens).  So before you hop in an orange Honda Element with four blondes and head down to Towson, Maryland, to check out some of Shirley's chicken and waffles, do your research.

And remember, you read it here first.

Lighting

We all know that this is your primary concern, because some things even the Lo-Fi Instragram filter can't fix. And obviously, if you don't document your brunch... well, you know.


Grade


Unfortunately, Shirley only pulled a three out of five Old Bays for this one.  Although the lighting was just above the threshold of "presentable after Photoshop," it definitely didn't do our mimosas any favors.

The lack of natural light and awkward shadows made every Instagram snap look a bit... off.  I think Hannah summed it up best with her analysis of our group photo: "Why does my face look all lumpy?"

The Drinks

I'm not proud to say it, but I'm a cheater.  Specifically, I cheated on Mary (Bloody, that is) with Shirley's Crush.  She just looked so refreshing and delightful with her strawberry garnish and sugar rimmed cup.

But at least I got to try the Bloody Mary (aka the Spicy Shirley).  After Laura dumped a few more shakes of Old Bay on hers (in true Maryland fashion), I got a sip of hers.  I also had a sip of the Miss Mimosa (Andrea's) and the Southern Ruby Crush (Erika's).

I guess if you're going to cheat, why hold back?


Grade


Don't get me wrong, the drinks were fantastic.  But the one down side of becoming a Bloody Mary connoisseur is, well, now you're a Bloody Mary connoisseur.  Which means you're very hard to impress.

Miss Shirley may have gotten a five out of five if anyone had tried the crab meat lump on her Bloody, though.  But the addition was "Market Price" (read: butt ton of money), so I guess we'll never know.

Food

The best thing about going out to eat with six other girls?  You get six other dishes.  As soon as our meals came out, we played a game of musical chairs... only with forks and without anyone ending up awkwardly on someone else's lap.

Chicken and waffles, Crab Cake & Fried Green Tomato Eggs Benedict, Grilled Salmon Florentine Benedict... I had been looking for a way to gain the rest of that holiday weight, and I found it.

As for the dish I actually paid for?  I ordered Amy's bagel (Triple-Sliced Bagel with Ducktrap River Smoked Salmon, Red & Yellow Tomatoes, Cucumber, Bermuda Onion, Mixed Greens, Swiss Cheese, Cream Cheese & Capers).


I don't know who Amy is but I sure hope she doesn't ask for her bagel back... because that baby's gone.

Grade


The only reason Shirley missed that extra half an Old Bay is because she doesn't have an "order everything" option.  Because really, who can pick just one?

Next Door Neighbor

Wait, this isn't a standard restaurant review category?

I don't see why not.  Because if you're not going to take a group shot in front of Thomson Remodeling next door... where are you going to take it?


But have it your way; I won't review Miss Shirley's irrelevant building mate.  Instead, I'll grade the company:

Were you expecting any less?

Happy Monday!  Everybody panic... it's almost here!
And just for a second of something completely un-Christmas, not covered in gold glitter and twinkling lights...



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