Friday, December 13, 2013

Hydrating Wine and Other Things on my Christmas Wish List

For most of you, writing "Wish Lists to Santa" stopped a few years before you started needing deodorant. But yet another perk of being a blogger is that Christmas Wish Lists aren't just accepted; they seem to be a requirement.

Just one look around blog town this week and there's already 54 more things on my list of "Things I Didn't Even Know I Wanted."  But once I got to the point where I was considering where in my apartment I was going to fit 15 pairs of Hunter rain boots... I stopped.  Because no matter how cute or trendy or awesome the things on those lists were, they weren't what I really wanted.

So I guess I better tell you what I do want now, before someone takes away my blog license or whatever.

1. Hydrating wine

2. Anti-calorie cupcakes

3. A personal laundry folder

4. A personal laundry iron-er (possibly unnecessary once #3 is acquired)

5.  A letter from Hogwarts, apologizing for the mailing delay

6. Cello lessons for my neighbor  (Or at least thicker apartment walls)

7. Mandatory Weekday Brunch

8. Someone who can explain to me a 401(k)

9. Someone to make Tom Brady just stop

10. Mandated Napping Hours

11. A hedgehog (see below for details)

12. A fail-proof can opener that's guaranteed to stop can lids from falling into my can of food... every. single. time.

13. Endorphins in a Bottle
(Or maybe that's just crack. Can you get crack in a bottle?  Am I embarrassing myself?)

14. "The Male Brain Decoded: A Novel by Any Man Willing to Explain"

15. Butt-to-Boob fat transfer technology

16. Real-life Instagram filters

17. More time

And that just got sort of deep really quickly so I will stop there.  Besides, I think that this list already sets a pretty unreasonable standard for anyone buying me a gift this year.  Maybe I should have stuck with a Target gift card.

(But please, Derrick, if you're reading this: I'm not kidding about the hedgehog.)

Linking up with Sarah and Whitney, as usual.

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  1. I would love having #1 with #2 while watching #3 personally! Then of course time, time is much needed!

  2. Haha. This made me giggle! I really enjoy your writing style.