Friday, January 31, 2014

15 Super Convenient Things about Being a Runner

One of the top search terms people use to find my site is "annoying runner."  Which is sort of offensive.

But I guess it is my fault for writing that post "The Weird and Annoying Crap that Runners Do."  That post is by far the most popular post I've written but I often wonder: was making myself into a pinnable meme worth being forever labeled by Google as an "annoying runner"?

Probably not.  But instead of sending the Google master an email to correct the situation ("IT WAS A JOKE!  I SWEAR, I WAS ONLY KIDDING!"), I'm going to reverse keyword my blog a little bit here by telling you all of the really awesome things about being a runner.

I'll say it again.  Awesome Runner.  And I'll throw in creative, witty, and smart while we're at it.  Oh yeah, and humble.

(Hear that Google?  Those sound like a few solid keywords, don't you think? *nudge nudge*)

1. If the U.S. ever decides to jump on the metric bandwagon, we're all set.  Who knows how long 400 ft. is but 400 meters?  We know how far that is and exactly how many seconds it takes for us to run it.

2. Forgot to make a restaurant reservation?  No problem; we'll take it to go.  We've mastered the art of eating things in inconvenient situations (such as, running 26.2 miles).

3. We've run in rain, hail, snow, wind, hurricanes... The Apocalypse will be nothing but a blip on our training schedule.

4. We know the exact location of every bathroom in our town.

5. ...And if they're all simultaneously full, no worries.  Just give us some toilet paper and a tree, and we're set.

6. You'll  never get lost on vacation again because we already know our way around town (within a seven mile radius, at least).

7.  If other people are in a hurry, we have no problem receiving things on the run.  (God help you if you screw up the hand-off, though.)

8. We never have to wonder if we have an extra safety pin.

9. Our watches are super friendly and supportive every time we reach a "New Record!"

10.  Getting robbed at gunpoint isn't something we worry about because we all have the same reflexive response to a gunshot: run like hell and don't get boxed in somewhere you can't get out.

11. We're really good at Frogger.

12. If we forget to pack a shirt, it's not really a problem.  Who runs fully clothed anyway?

13. Running a mile burns about 100 calories.  The average glass of wine has about 100 calories. Coincidence?

14. We're one of the few people who know what lies behind a "No Trespassing" sign.

15. We're really great at making lists.  I mean, what else are you going to do on a 2 hour long run?

Today is the day we've all been waiting for!
Live it up.

Want more tea? Have a second cup!
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