Friday, January 24, 2014

I Want To Be On GOMI

When I discovered the blogging community a few months after I started my blog, I was shocked.  The concept of this whole society of women (and some men) writing post after post about everything and nothing, with link-ups and giveaways and posts about link-ups and giveaways, seemed so... strange.

But the blogging community seems as straight-shooting as Jackie Kennedy eating an apple pie compared to what I recently found: GOMI (short for "Get Off my Internets").  GOMI is a society of women and men and disgruntled preteens who read bloggers' post after post about everything and nothing, with link-ups and giveaways and posts about link-ups and giveaways... and then dedicate different "forums" to complain about or rag on the bloggers.

I immediately wondered: am I on GOMI?  I said once that you know you've made it if you have a FAQ page but that was before I knew about this site.  You truly know you made it when your mere existence is just so controversial that you can spark the outrage of strangers with a single french braid of your hair.

But unfortunately, after searching every forum, I just can't find my name anywhere.

In my defense though, the GOMI community is a little vague on its requirements.  I just can't tell exactly what they want: should I post too often or too little?  Talk about myself too much or not enough?  Maybe I should give Derrick a nickname (they seem to get a real kick out of the term "hubby").

But if you know me, you know that I'm not one to give up so easily.  No way, not this girl.  I obviously haven't been doing it right up until now so I've done my research.  Based on what I've seen on GOMI, I've put together this nice little compact list of all the things I do to deserve to be on their site.

People of GOMI, I hope you're listening.... because I'm doing this for you.

1. I have really long hair.  GOMI community, take a look at my hair.  Just look at it.

I haven't gotten it cut in at least a year, maybe more.  And split ends?  Don't even get me started on split ends.  And you know what's truly despicable about my unkempt mane?  It's that I don't just have split ends, I have split ends AT YOU.  That's right, GOMI.  I haven't just grown out my hair because I like it like that... I've done it deliberately to you, as a personal insult.

2. I think I'm really funny.  It's no secret that I try to be funny on occasion.  And by "on occasion", I mean basically every occasion.

Sometimes other people also think that I am funny but you know who thinks my posts are the funniest?  Me.

My favorite part about writing the funny posts is going back to reread what I wrote because it's usually just about the funniest damn thing I ever read.  Sometimes, I'll think about what I wrote hours later in a completely unrelated and inappropriate situation and start laughing to myself.  Derrick thinks that this is weird and I agree, it probably is.  But it's yet another reason why I deserve to be on GOMI.

3. I am a real baby about the cold.

I saw one person leave a comment on GOMI about a blogger "wearing 6 layers" when it dips below 70 degrees.  Hello, GOMI?!  Were you guys just not listening?  I wrote a whole post complaining about how cold it is in Chicago just the other week!

C'mon, that was fertile ground for at least a comment or two.  I mean, it's Chicago after all.  Everyone knows it's cold here... yet I still had the nerve to complain about it.  If that doesn't deserve at least a shout out, I don't know what does.

4. I don't know what I'm doing.

Yes, you read that right: I'm really still trying to figure my life out.  I'm assuming that the fine folks of GOMI just mistakenly thought that I was one of them and knew exactly how I, and everyone else, should run their lives.

So I'm going to clear this up: I don't know what the best path for my life is.  I make the best decisions I can but sometimes they're wrong.  I try to say the right things but sometimes I sound stupid.  I'm trying, really I'm trying, but I haven't got all the answers.  So c'mon, GOMI community, show some compassion.  It seems like you know what every other blogger mentioned on your site is doing wrong and how they should be doing it.  Why can't you extend the same kindness to me?

I'm going to stop now because I'm just so worked up.  I'm doing a lot better at being a GOMI topic than some of the genuinely nice people already on that site.  What gives?  What's a girl gotta do on the internet these days?

Maybe I'll just head over there right now and start my own "Not Before my Tea" thread.  You know, give them a little spark to get going with.

I'm putting in the hard work over here, after all.

Happy Friday.
If you talk to someone from GOMI, give them my best. xo.

Want more tea? Have a second cup!
Twitter// Instagram// Facebook// Bloglovin

No comments:

Post a Comment