He already had a lot going for him on his life resume: computer scientist, first name inventor on two patents, former college football player, and 50% responsible for producing me. I didn’t think he could fit much more on there but he did: Master Craftsman.
I don’t know exactly how it happened. All I know is that it started with an unassuming table saw from a relative. The next thing you know, birdhouses started popping up all over our yard. At first, they were just a simple one bedroom-and-a-perch type of deal. Nothing alarming.
But they started getting more and more elaborate until it got to the point where I came home one week in June to find at least seven birdhouses staggered all over the backyard. Let me clarify: seven extremely ornate birdhouses. One had the Ravens logo transposed on the side. At least five of them were replicas of various churches. One legitimately had marble steps and a stained-glass window.
It was simultaneously amazing and creepy. Luckily, I think my dad realized that pretty soon the neighbors would start getting suspicious (plus, I imagine our birdseed bill was through the roof) so he started to expand.
The next time I came home, we had 20 new coasters, a wine rack, a new island in the kitchen, two end tables, and a few cutting boards. (And three new birdhouses… he couldn’t resist.)
My dad’s workplace had also expanded. Last Christmas, my dad gave me the grand tour of what was once a garage with a table saw sitting in the middle. My dad has added about two more saws to the collection, a whole array of other gizmos whose purpose I have no idea, a custom built work bench, custom cabinets, a space heater, and (le pièce de résistance) a 20 inch TV screen mounted to the wall for football viewing purposes.
My mom says she sees a lot less of him now days.
Why am I telling you this? Because I’m convinced that my dad is a genius and I just want everyone to know. I tell him that he should try to sell some of the things he’s made. For example, last week he mailed me a surprise-ish gift: an awesome handmade, rock maple and red oak cutting board.
He and my mom also included a few more gifts with the cutting board, which makes this post title at least somewhat relevant. In my excitement over getting a package (which was delivered to my office), I frantically ripped it open the moment I got to my desk.
It turns out that the extra gifts included a heavy-duty kitchen knife for cutting things on my new cutting board. It makes sense in context, but doesn’t make much sense if you only saw me hysterically pulling a seven inch knife from a box in the middle of my office.
But the good news is that I still have my job and I also have a brand new cutting board, kitchen knife, and meat thermometer. Some steaks will most certainly be in order.
In the meantime, I’m trying to convince my dad to get a feel for the market. I think that quality homemade, personalized cutting boards would be an absolute hit, especially as gifts. I mean, Williams-Sonoma doesn’t seem to be doing too bad.
So tell me what you think, people; the stage is yours!
Want more tea? Have a second cup!
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