Friday, February 7, 2014

Running Gods, Forgive Me



Based on how much I talk about running, you probably think I’m a young, female Hal Higdon.  But I’m actually no expert in running.  Not even close, really.

The truth is that I often feel like a running fraud.  I ran in college, so I have that card to pull if anyone gets runner sassy with me.  But even with that automatic “in,” I sometimes feel left out of the running community.

Now, the running community isn’t some elitist group that only accepts you if you’re wearing a fuel belt or know all of the running lingo.  There are many levels of “running savvy”; some people are just in the slow heat.

But then there are some who are dangerously close to not even qualifying.  For every passionate runner on the trail counting her strides per minute, there’s another one thinking “DNF” means “Doughnuts Never Fail.”  And for these people, for their running sins, the Running Gods are not pleased.

For that, Running gods, we ask for forgiveness.

Forgive me, Running gods, for… having never actually tried a GU.

Forgive me, Running gods, for… keeping Swedish fish in my pocket during for fuel during my last marathon instead.  (Although I think the sticky, red, disastrous result was penance enough for this one.)

Forgive me, Running gods, for… not really knowing what VO2 max is.

Forgive me, Running gods, for… Googling that ten seconds ago to make sure I was saying it right.

Forgive me, Running gods, for… never stretching.

Forgive me, Running gods, for… only wearing compression sleeves that one time because I thought they made me look legit.


Forgive me, Running gods, for… still not understanding what compression sleeves do.

Forgive me, Running gods, for… not owning a foam roller.

Forgive me, Running gods, for… not laying out my race gear the night before.

Forgive me, Running gods, for… just straight up buying my race gear the night before.

Forgive me, Running gods, for… running a marathon in shoes I bought at the Expo the day before. (I still don’t forgive myself for this one.)

Forgive me, Running gods, for… not refueling within an hour post-run.  Ever.

Forgive me, Running gods, for… running hard on my recovery days.  I swear I didn’t mean to.

Forgive me, Running gods, for… not understanding the concept of recovery days anyway.  “Slightly less demanding” is not synonymous with “recovery,” Running gods.

Forgive me, Running gods, for… pretending running plyometrics don’t exist.

Forgive me, Running gods, for… thinking I could run through an injury.

Forgive me, Running gods, for… using the words “stopping to stretch” as code for “stopping to stand here against a tree for two minutes.”

Forgive me, Running gods, for… not being that sorry at all.  Because who are you, anyway?  If you run, you’re a runner.  There are no requirements; all that GU is just extra.

Finally, it's here.

Linking up with Sarah.



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