Friday, March 14, 2014

20 Types of People on Chicago Streets

After my post yesterday, I really didn't have a choice today but to follow my own advice and consciously notice the people around me.

And as uplifting and soul-enriching as that was, it also reminded me why I don't do it all the time: it's a lot to take in.  In just the five minutes it took me to walk from my office to get lunch, I was bombarded with a million different types of people.

Okay, maybe not a million types.  More like twenty:

  1. The girl who is clearly underprepared for the weather.  “Maybe if I wear this denim jacket, Spring will happen.”
  2. The girl who is clearly over-prepared for the weather, always ready in case she’s unexpectedly asked to complete a space mission.
  3. The guy who obviously doesn’t know where he’s going.  The ol’ “look at my phone, slap my forehead, and turn around because I just had a very unexpected and sudden change in plans” trick isn't fooling anyone, pal.
  4. The girl who knows exactly where she’s going.  And you’re in the way.
  5. The girl who just walked out of L.A. Tan.  No but seriously, I'm sure everyone will assume it's natural.
  6. The guy who just walked out of Trader Joe's.  And don't those sea salt-dusted organic Edamame crisps look delicious?
  7. The European.  Or else the guy who was sick on "Left and Right" day in kindergarten.  Either way, he's walking on the wrong side of the sidewalk.
  8. The runner.  Experiencing the frustration of city crosswalks at twice the speed of everyone else.
  9. The guy rapping to the song in his headphones out loud.  Such talent wasted on public transportation.
  10. The girl carrying way too many shopping bags.  But she just really needed a new pair of jeans, watercolor paint, body lotion, a few new movies, 23 blank CDs, and something from Express!
  11. The important business man wearing a long coat.  "I don't have time for cold ankles."
  12. The girl who thought she could walk in heels.  “No really, guys, this is totally more comfortable than it looks.”
  13. The mother.  “Philip, how many times do I have to tell you, the gum under the bus seats is not for eating!”
  14. The twenty-something girl wearing Hunter boots, a North Face jacket, and carrying a Longchamp bag.  All 56 of them.
  15. The lady discussing something too personal on her phone.  Can you believe Rhonda’s nerve though?  I’d have knocked her down a few notches too.
  16. The kid who is a little too involved with his smartphone.  There’s a pole there.
  17. The tourist.  “Would you look at that pigeon-poop covered dumpster lid, Doris!  They just don’t make them like this in Rhode Island!”
  18. The Asian tourist.  For the sake of politically incorrect stereotypes.
  19. The lady who has unsuccessfully been trying to hail a cab for twenty minutes and is moments away from a public meltdown.  Does anyone really know how the Chicago taxi system works, anyway?
  20. The kind of creepy girl who is paying just a little bit too much attention to everyone she passes.  "But it’s for the blog!"
Happy St. Paddy's Day Weekend-Eve!
Toast your Irish forefathers with a traditional green Miller Lite.
Linking up with Sarah and Whitney.

Want more tea? Have a second cup!
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