Tuesday, March 11, 2014

How You Know You've Made It

All through school, I loved tests.

I mean, I hated the studying, stress, and mild sense of impending doom associated with them.  (I'm not a complete masochist.)  What I loved is getting the tests back because that meant I had a clear-cut number to measure how I did.  I liked tests a lot more when that number was high but even when it was low, the Type-A in me was comforted knowing exactly how inadequate I was.

It's not like that in real life.  One minute, you're looking around your apartment thinking, "Look at all this stuff.  I rule."  The next, you open your refrigerator to find half a jar of pickles and three Redd's Apple Ales and think, "I am failing at adulthood."

It would just be so much simpler if the grading scale carried out through real life.  Like, I'd have an A for overall dental hygiene, but an average C- for interior design.  (Okay, fine, I'm still using a Trader Joe's bag as a trash can; I'd get an F.)

The point is, I would really appreciate it if I had a dependable, consistant scale to rate my performance throghout life, not just in General Chemistry.  Maybe even a slight curve for people who are generally klutzy.  Is that so much to ask?

No, in fact, it's not.  I know because I went ahead and got started on one.  A guideline, if you will, to measure if you've "made it" in various aspects of your life.

(And just as a note, I am not above being bribed for extra credit.)

How you know you've made it... as a Runner.
You don't run in Nike Shox.

How you know you've made it.... as a Blogger.
You've gotten a nod from GOMI.

How you know you've made it... in the corporate world.
You can revert someone to your secretary.

How you know you've made it... past the "Honeymoon Phase."
Your significant other asks you to please get out of the bathroom because he needs to poop.

How you know you've made it... from the Kids' Table.
You don't have to sneak alcohol at family events.

How you know you've made it... as a homeowner.
You have a garage.

How you know you've made it... out of your hometown.
You can't recite your local bar's specials from memory.

How you know you've made it... as a city girl.
You don't try to order a cab two days in advance.  (Of course no one would ever do that.  I mean, how embarrassing would that be, am I right?)

How you know you've made it... as a college graduate.
Kids are calling you asking for donations.  And you actually refer to them as "kids."

How you know you've made it... as an adult.
A glass of wine and Shark Tank on Friday gets you pumped.

How you know you've really made it... as an adult.
You successfully use coupons.

How you know you've made it... as a human.
You can fall asleep at nights.

Oh look, it's Tuesday.
We made it.

Want more tea? Have a second cup!
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1 comment:

  1. Oh my gosh I love this and real runners do not wear nikes. Not that I'm a real runner but I'm runner enough to know that!