Friday, March 28, 2014

Regrets

I'm sure by now, you've heard the phrase, "Live life with no regrets," or one of its 52,000 variations.  If not, how have you gotten so far on the internet without passing Pinterest?

But to the point: I don't buy it.  You motivational pinners out there might want to cover your eyes because you're not going to like this: I think that living with no regrets is yet another hoax concocted by the Pinterest lords, right along with 5 minute abs and "tastes like the real thing" Greek yogurt desserts.

It's a noble cause and I admire the optimism but 5 minutes won't erase years of cheesecake abuse, and cheesecake isn't cheesecake without the fat.  And regrets are just an unavoidable fact of life.

I'm not saying you can't learn from your regrets.  I mean, I gotta pin something on my "Inspiration" board after all.  But the fact is that they're still regrets and usually, they're something you would rather keep to a minimum.

Luckily, I'm here to help.  You see, throughout my 23 years of life I have observed and mentally cataloged key phrases that often signal a regret on the horizon.  I'm not saying that all of these phrases will definitely be followed by a regret... I'm just saying they usually are.

So what better way to end this week with a bang than with another list:

20 Phrases You Hear
Right Before a Regret

1.  "Oh, what's one more shot?"
2.  "It's probably just a strain.  I can definitely still run."
3.  "Dairy expiration dates are just suggestions anyway."
4.  "Gas station sushi!"
5.  "I know I'm running late, but I'll only be a minute in Target."
6.  "Who's in for a pre-race burrito?"
7.  "I'm just going to call Comcast and get that bill figured out really fast."
8.  "Does it bite?"
9.  "No one really reads your cover letter anyway."
10. "Western Union Daily payment of $5600?  Sign me up!"
11. "I'll just watch one episode of New Girl."
12. "Time to get that base tan."
13. "They told me this iPhone case was waterproof."
14. "I'm flying in the Wednesday before Thanksgiving."
15. "I'll get my groceries Sunday evening."
16. "Hey, this nail salon does eyebrow waxing."
17. "WebMD will know."
18. "How hard can HTML be?"
19. "I heard it on Dr. Oz; it's gotta be legit."
20. "I read it on a blog; it's gotta be legit."

And that's that.  So now, let us Friday.
Linking up with Whitney.



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1 comment:

  1. There is totally no such thing as living life without regrets. I'm not dwelling on my regrets or letting them big down my life but I sure do wish I hadn't gone through that tanorexic phase that probably killed my skin and may cause skin cancer later on in my life...

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