Tuesday, March 4, 2014

This is Living

I told myself I wasn't going to blog this week but alas, here I am.

I was touched by the response to my last post and I just wanted to let you know that we appreciated your kind words.  Missing brunch was not easy but we’re doing fine, all four of us.

Oh, you thought that only Derrick and I were living in our new apartment?  Understandable.  That’s what we thought too.  However, it turns out that there are actually four of us living in our new one-bedroom.  We’re still working out how to divvy up the rent.

We met our first roommate, Caged Wolverine, the first night.

Before I start,  let me say that before this, Derrick and I had been living in a very old building equipped with very old things. Basically, we've been around the radiator block a time or two.  We knew exactly how those things operated, and Derrick even has a couple of choice words to use when they start making noise in the middle of the night.

The thing is that at our last place, those middle-of-the-night sounds were basically just a lot of hissing from the steam.  It wasn't ideal but it also wasn't that bad; in the right mood, we could pretend like it was just a little, old British lady having a spot of tea at 3 AM.  Like I said, 3 AM is not an ideal time for a spot of tea but it was what it was.

We met Wolverine around the same time that little, old British lady used to make her tea.  At 3 AM, we both woke up to a pretty alarming rattling, banging, clanging sound from the corner of our bedroom where the radiator sat.  Derrick had the good sense to turn the radiator off but ten minutes later, we heard the exact same sound.  We both looked at each other the way that two people look at each other when it’s 3 AM and they've both simultaneously realized the helpless predicament that they are in.

It was then that I realized that we had stumbled across the nosiest radiator in all of Chicago.  Or, if you ask Derrick, we have a caged Wolverine in our bedroom.  And the Caged Wolverine is winning.

Unfortunately, Caged Wolverine is the preferred of our two roomates.  Mostly because Caged Wolverine is caged, meaning he is not scampering around the kitchen eating things like our second roommate does.  We’re not exactly sure what our second roommate looks like because we didn't actually see him.  But I can tell you the lovely story of how we met.

We met roommate #2 around 11:30 PM the second night in our new place.  I awoke to see Derrick jumping out of bed in obvious alarm.  Evidently he had “heard something,” and whereas my natural reaction to strange sounds is to freeze (generally with my head under the covers), Derrick investigates.  He looked around for a few minutes but could not find anything.

Unfortunately, by this time, I was awake and primed.  So fifteen minutes later, I was the first one to point out the sounds.

Our trashcan was an unlucky casualty of the move so our trash has been in a trashbag hanging on the pantry doorknob.  And at 11:45 PM, that trashbag was making sounds that trashbags don’t normally make on their own.  This time, Derrick creeped slowly out of the room in the name of stealth… but still, nothing.

He spent about ten minutes looking for the source of a possible draft that was moving the bag, but he couldn't find one.  But just as he was about to give up, he took a closer look at the trashbag... which now had a moderately sized hole chewed in it.

Which was alarming.  He spent the next ten minutes trying to find where some little creature could have crept into our kitchen, but he had no luck.  At this point, we were both exhausted and needed to get up early for work, so I told him to just put the trash somewhere where nothing could get it and come to bed.  Oh yeah, and close the bedroom door.

Despite my determined optimism (“Maybe it’s a kitten”), we both fell asleep fearing the worst.

And indeed, our fears were confirmed the next morning when I woke up to find our trashbag five feet from where Derrick had put it, with two gaping holes in it and a potato skin from last night’s dinner conspicuously missing.  I then opened the pantry to find that our new roommate had eaten my whole bag of pretzels and haphazardly thrown the empty bag and my oatmeal on the ground.

(He did not, however, leave any crumbs... so I guess at least we can take comfort in knowing that our new roommate is a tidy snacker.)

So yes, to sum this up, Derrick, Caged Wolverine, Rat in the Pantry, and I are all really adjusting well and are helping each other recover from our brunch-less weekend.  I could go on more about how we're handling other aspects of new apartment life (like the bathroom door that refuses to close and the suspicious stain on the bedroom floor that I'm hoping is ketchup) but I think I've rambled on long enough.

I guess I just needed an outlet for my emotions; Derrick doesn't get home from work for another couple of hours and my other two roommates aren't much of talkers.  They're more of the howling/munching type.

Want more tea? Have a second cup!
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