Thursday, March 6, 2014

This is Me Smiling

If you read my post yesterday, you know that I was laying the mope down nice and thick, much to the dismay of the Jiminy Cricket voice of reason in my ear.  As many times as I told Jiminy to scram yesterday, he just wouldn't leave me alone.  And moping around your apartment is a lot less gratifying when you have a little voice of conscience giving you hell about it.

The most annoying part was that he made a good point: things are sort of looking up.  The maintenance man came and fixed my bathroom door and unclogged my shower drain.  With my rejuvenated spirit, I then spent a solid 45 minutes with a bucket of Lysol and rubber gloves scrubbing the bathroom down.

The exterminator also came and left a note saying that he “baited and set traps.”

Granted, I’m not entirely clear on where he set the traps.  (Although I think they might be in the pantry wall somehow, based on the panicky scratching sounds I’ve been hearing.)  And yes, we got another six inches of snow the other night and my apartment is still only half unpacked.  But now when I’m feeling overwhelmed, at least I can soothe myself by sitting in my bathroom that is so clean and just so darn functional.

Jiminy also raised a few other fair points in defense of his infuriating “life is good” stance that he won’t shut up about.  Now I’m not saying that I’m going to start Instagramming about my oh so #blessed life anytime soon or anything like that; I've still got a few solid mope’s left in me.  But because being a Debbie Downer in blog land is like playing with fire, I thought I should share a few of Jiminy’s optimistic sentiments with you all.

Uplifting is the name of the blogging game, after all.


  1. Spring officially starts on March 20.
  2. Panera serves soup in bread bowls.
  3. They destroyed the Berlin Wall.
  4. Someone invented Splenda.
  5. I do not have a mullet.
  6. I was not alive during the Black Death pandemic.
  7. Brunch.
  8. Most tall buildings have elevators.
  9. My mom didn’t name me Hotdog.
  10. We live in a society that embraces the consumption of empanadas.
  11. Someone came up with the concept of BYOB.
  12. Someone else came up with concept of cinnamon rolls.
  13. Liane Moriarty writes books.  I could have taken over the world in the amount of time I’ve spent reading “The Husband’s Secret” over the past two weeks.
  14. Wine contains antioxidants.
  15. So does chocolate.
  16. I will never have to be 13 again.
  17. Statistically speaking, I probably won't be eaten by a Bull Shark.
  18. I don't have to wear wedge rain boots if I don't want to.
  19. Since finishing third grade, I'm pretty much guaranteed to never have to do long division again.
  20. I've won as many Oscars as Leonardo DiCaprio.
  21. I am free to view the Panda Cam whenever I want.
  22. I am almost exactly the same age as Harry Potter.
  23. I was born naturally uni-brow free.
  24. Freedom of Speech.  It means that I can stop this list at 24 instead of 25, if I want.  Or something.
So as you see, after speaking with Jiminy, it gets really hard to be a depressing grouch over a few rogue rodents in your pretzels.  And now that the exterminator has taken care of business, what do I really have to complain about at all?

Want more tea? Have a second cup!
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1 comment:

  1. Oh I love this list! Glad to see you perked up a bit after yesterday. But everyone needs a day like that now and again. No one likes a perfect girl now do they? ;)

    Ps: you're funny.