Thursday, April 17, 2014

26.2 Reasons Running a Marathon is Awesome


On the off chance that you have been around some form of news outlet, social media, magazine rack, athlete, know-it-all, or have been otherwise conscious this week, you probably know that the Boston marathon is next Monday.

Or maybe you thought it was last Monday, a thought that would put you in good company but unfortunately, still wrong.  (Although it was motivating to have so many people wish me good luck with Monday last weekend. Mondays can be rough, after all.)

Regardless of your attention to detail, you know that a lot of people made plans and spent hundreds of dollars so that they can run the 26.2 mile route from Hopkinton, Massachusetts, to the John Hancock tower in Boston this month.  (Give or take a few details.)

Now, bloggers seem to be very divided on the subject of running.  You either love it or hate it.  (Or are sort of overwhelmingly obsessed with it.)  But you hardly ever hear about a blogger just being "meh" about the whole thing.

If you know me, you know I flirt with the line between "love" and "unreasonable obsession."  But if you don't regularly read my blog, and just happen to stumble across posts like this, you might not be so sure.  So as a tribute to the 26.2 miles of hellish agony I will be happily enduring this Monday, I am going to set the record straight once and for all:

26.2 Reasons Running a Marathon is Awesome

1.  During training season, you never have to worry about what you want to do on the weekends.
2.  You have a ready-made excuse in case you want to stay in on Friday.
3.  You have a ready-made excuse in case you want to drink three pitchers of beer on Friday.  You'll sweat it out, right?
4.   Your butt will look awesome.
5.   Even if your butt doesn't end up looking awesome, at least anyone who tries telling you that can't escape.
6.   Your feet become so calloused, you really don't even need shoes.
7.   You get to pee your pants and no one can judge you for it.
8.   All neon, everything.  Safety first, after all.
9.   Three days of pasta and white bread isn't just allowed; it's your responsibility.
10. Your bucket list looks cooler.
11. When I say "BQ," you don't have to Google it.
12. What do you mean you have trouble sleeping?
13. You'll always have that special picture of you with one eye drooping, gasping for air, with "PROOF" stamped all over your torso.
14.  You won't have to worry about a budget, because there's nothing there to manage.  You spent it all on race entries and shoes.
15.  But if you win, sometimes you get a gift card to the finest mediocre steakhouse in all of this 15 mile radius.
16.  You can start sentences by saying, "When I ran my last marathon..."
17.  Endorphins.
18.  At 5k's, they give you crappy cotton, adult medium tees.  At marathons, all the shirts are fast-drying and form-fitting.  And sometimes you even get sleeves.
19. No one can judge you for having no upper body strength.
20. No one can judge you for having a second helping.  Or third, fourth, or fifth.
21. At some point during your training, you'll inevitably be forced to see the sunrise.  And it will be worth it.
22. No amount of social awkwardness can counteract the bond between two people who've experienced a marathon.
23. You can rock tutus and capes and tiaras, and no one can tell you that you look stupid.  Or they'll be fired.
24. Following through from your first day of training to the end of the race will make you believe that you can do anything.
25. They say running is cheaper than therapy.  After a few pairs of shoes, race entries, running watches, and hydration belts, this might not actually be true... but running will never ask you how you feel about it.
26. Life can hurt, but running makes it better.
0.2 That feeling between mile 26 and 26.2 teaches you that it's the small things that matter.

Almost Friday, which is almost the weekend, which is almost Monday.
This might be the only time I've ever said I'm not upset about it.

All Alright by fun. on Grooveshark


Want more tea? Have a second cup!
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