Monday, April 28, 2014

Blog Reader Appreciation Part 26:
Bangers and Lace (The Worst Brunch Ever)

You may not know this, but I ran in the Boston Marathon last week.  This news might come as a shock to you, although my more perceptive readers probably picked up on the 72,000 times I mentioned it.

I guess there's something to be said about beating a dead horse though.  Some people may call it meaningless, stupid, a complete waste of time, energy, and resources.  But personally, I look at it as a positive; you still get to beat a horse if that's your thing, and you can do it without PETA following you around with picket signs.  Truly a win-win, I'd say.

So this week, I'm going to dedicate this one to all of the people out there beating their own hypothetical dead horses. You might not be getting anywhere but at least no one is trying to stop you.

So no matter what you've done 71,999 times, don't worry.  I've got something for you to read after attempt number 72,000.

Funniest Texts Between Parents And Their Children Ever Sent. You’ll Appreciate This!

Whoever made this used "loose" instead of "lose," and I'm still sharing it.  That means it must be pretty funny.

33 Painfully True Facts About Everyday Life

This year is the year, I promise.

#1. Cinco de Mayo Jello Shots via Brit + Co.
#2. Cinco de Mayo Pinata Cookies via SheKnows
#3. Margarita Cupcakes via FreutCake

Stereotypical Marylandian.

The Stereotype Map Of Every U.S. State — According To British People

12 Pictures of Vague Things

You know you've had a lot of brunches when you can rank your brunching experiences on more than two hands. That's exactly what Derrick and I did this Sunday, something I normally would be celebrating if our present brunch hadn't come in dead last.

To be fair, my sandwich and Bloody wasn't bad.  In fact, it tasted pretty good.  But I won't dwell on that because quite frankly, Bangers and Lace doesn't deserve it.  No, Bangers and Lace deserves nothing more than under-your-breath grumbles and bad Yelp reviews.  Why?  Because Bangers and Lace is the type of establishment that runs out of biscuits.

You may think that this isn't a big deal and okay, maybe under many circumstances it isn't.  I mean, some places (public pools, libraries, etc.) are perfectly fine without biscuits at all.  But the difference is no one travels across the land for a library biscuit, whereas Derrick and I traveled for an hour on two different buses just so that we could spend a Sunday afternoon experiencing Bangers and Lace's Build-A-Biscuit Brunch.

The thing about a proper Build-A-Biscuit Brunch however is that biscuits must be present and functioning. Yet shortly after I ordered my Meat & Potato Bloody Mary, our waitress informed us that they were out of Build-A-Biscuit.  I'm actually not sure if they were out of the biscuits or the builders, but either way, no biscuits were built and we were enraged.

Derrick suggested that we pour water all over the table and storm out but we were hungry, so we settled on an unfavorable blog review instead.  And although my duck BLT was actually sort of pleasing, it wasn't a biscuit.  And Derrick said that his fried chicken and waffle gave him gas.  Thus, no compliments will be given.

So don't let these brightly colored pictures and smiles fool you.  Right now, we are both sitting on the couch seething that we will be forced to wait another week before we get a biscuit.

So from someone sitting here next to a man who keeps supplying me with a constant flow of chicken fried pork sausage flavored burps, all I have to say is curse you, Bangers and Lace.  You have let me down.

Stay inside if you can today.  Monday is out there everywhere.

Want more tea? Have a second cup!
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