Thursday, April 24, 2014



Have you ever woken up around 6 PM after a long afternoon nap, momentarily convinced that it was a new day?  You know, that overwhelming confusion and unjustified craving for bacon?

That's how I felt yesterday after reading most of the comments on my Boston Marathon post.  Don't get me wrong; each one made me happier than you can imagine.  I just couldn't figure out why people kept saying that they couldn't wait to hear more.  I didn't really have any more, which made people's excitement for it confusing and sort of worrisome.

But then I realized: I had unintentionally promised a seven part series to recap the race.  Not only that, I had compared this epic, nonexistent recap to the Harry Potter series.  Basically, I had unknowingly set myself up for failure and you all for disappointment.

I considered throwing together a half-hearted description and pretending that that was my plan all along.  But that would be lying and truthfully, I don't think I'm ready to relive the race just yet.  Maybe once I can use stairs again I'll be ready, but my quads still haven't given me the okay on either yet.

I realize how cruel this is; it's like that 6 PM yearning for bacon all over again.  But the great thing about this experience is that it can be a good one, as long as you're not dying for a BLT.

Instead of flocking to GOMI seeking retribution, I think we can all learn from this experience.  I mean, adulthood is synonymous with disappointment and lies anyway; the better you are at dealing with them, the less likely you are to wind up on Snapped.  So really, I guess you're welcome.  And just to throw in a little extra for you, here are seven other of the biggest disappointments of adulthood.

Seven Disappointments of Adulthood

1.  Taxes.  Starting that first high school summer I worked at Rita's, I always looked forward to tax season.  It was a magical time when the government sent me money.  So imagine my disappointment (read: violent rage) this year when I owed money.  Although I should, I can't honestly say that I know exactly where my tax money goes, and if our government is spending my money wisely.  All I know is that Chicago's public transportation has been known to ram up the occasional escalator... and I am not amused.

2.  Insurance.  The only thing less fun than not knowing exactly what you're paying for is paying for absolutely nothing.  I paid around $150 in renters insurance last year for the knowledge that none of my belongings were damaged in any hypothetical natural catastrophes.

3.  The 9-5 Work Day.  More specifically, that it doesn't exist.

4.  The taste/price/health principle.  Now that you buy and cook your own meals, you realize that there are three major factors to consider: taste, price, and health.  You get to pick two.

5.  Pimples are still a thing.  Wasn't there a rule somewhere that they weren't allowed in adulthood?

6.  So are pants.  Okay, so you knew about this one.  But that doesn't make it any easier.

7.  Your mom was right.  About everything.

It's Thursday.  Can you believe it?

By the way, I do apologize for the disappointing post.  And really, adulthood isn't as disappointing as I made it sound... I just wanted to distract you.

Want more tea? Have a second cup!
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