Monday, April 21, 2014

Thoughts from the starting line
with a bonus crappy metaphor

As you're reading this, I'll probably be at the starting line of the Boston marathon, most likely looking for a port-o-pot and hoping that my arm warmers are making me look a lot more legit than I feel.

As I am writing this though, I am eating lunch at my favorite cafe, counting down the hours until I leave to catch my flight to the East Coast.

You're probably thinking I'm going over my race strategy, researching hydration stations, or some other weird crap that only a marathon runner would do.  And maybe under normal circumstances, I would.  But these aren't particularly normal circumstances.

There's no way to really be remotely honest without at least acknowledging that this week has been an emotional roller coaster.  Almost everything that can be changed about someone's life is being changed in mine.  All of this change is a direct result of conscious decisions I've made, but just because you chose to get on the roller coaster doesn't mean you won't puke your guts off once you get off.

Enough with the crappy metaphors though.  A lot is changing and so it's not surprising that as all of this has been happening, I've taken a long look at what I want and what is important in my life.  Several long looks.  I think anyone in my situation would, and (despite popular belief) I'm really not a robot.

And after those long looks, it sort of puts this race into perspective.  Don't get me wrong; I didn't decide that running isn't important.  I decided the opposite actually.  But it did make all of the nerves I had for this race, specifically about if I was going to totally bonk, seem irrelevant.  Whether I run an awesome time or finish on Tuesday really isn't going to matter in a year.  What will matter is that I kept trying, and that's about it.

It sucks that you have to have these kind of realizations only after something that actually is important is threatened or lost.  I can only imagine how many runners lined up at the Boston starting line last year worried about if they would PR, if they brought the right flavored GU, if they were going to make brunch after the race, having no idea that not a single one of those things would matter at the end.

I guess it's in our best interest to not live our whole lives as if everything we love could be taken away at any moment though.  I mean, otherwise no one would waste time cleaning bathrooms and that's a world where no one wants to live.  But as I sit here listening to the girl next to me complaining that her roommate didn't do the dishes again, I just want to shake her and tell her that one day she's going to wish the only thing giving her any grief was a sticky cereal bowl.

Anyway, I apologize: you probably opened this post hoping for another list about chafing, having no idea you were actually opening a chapter of Chicken Soup for the Sappy Blogger's Soul.  That's my bad.

I guess I'll just end this now, as abruptly as I started.  I hope you all had a wonderful weekend and you roommates cleaned up all of their Easter dinner dishes.  And if not, even better: you're living the good life.

Monday, Monday, Monday.
Send me your good thoughts/karma/prayers, whatever it is you normally send... I'll use them around Heartbreak Hill.

Want more tea? Have a second cup!
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